Wherein I scan the Monday morning headlines so you don't have to:
From Advertising Age:
—First in what promises to be a really depressing series: the newspaper death watch. Time to re-up that Zoloft prescription.
—In this economy, there's no business like the Internet business.
—Volume discounts from Google? Dream on.
—Digital agency execs put the "ex" in exit.
—Starbucks a little less entertaining than it used to be. Decides to actually focus on coffee.
—Saturn hopes its owners orbit around a new social networking site, imSaturn.
—Bob Garfield not feeling the love in this Heineken Premium Light spot from Wieden + Kennedy. If you don't overthink it, it's kinda fun.
—Interview with Richard Schaps, CEO of Van Wagner. Nice hair.
—The annual report card issue of both creative and media agencies. Since it doesn't look like you can get all of the grades without clicking on every agency, I'll do it for you. First, the grades for creative agencies:
Bartle Bogle Hegarty: B+
Campbell Mithun: D
Carmichael Lynch: C
Crispin Porter + Bogusky: B+
Euro RSCG: B
Goodby, Silverstein + Partners: A-
GSD&M Idea City: D+
Hill, Holliday, Connors, Cosmopulos: B+
The Kaplan Thaler Group: B
Leo Burnett: C-
The Martin Agency: B+
McCann Erickson: B+
Merkley + Partners: B-
Ogilvy & Mather: C+
Publicis & Hal Riney: C+
Publicis USA: A-
The Richards Group: C
Saatchi & Saatchi: A-
Wieden + Kennedy: B
Young & Rubicam: C+
Here are the media agency grades:
Mediaedge CIA: A-
Universal McCann: B
Zenith Media: A-
—Those media agency CEOs just can't sit still.
—Magazine publishers look up their sleeves in search of new tricks.
—Leslie Winthrop and Lisa Colantuono tell agencies how they should pitch business.
—How high gas prices affect branding efforts.
—AutoTrader.com readies a big promotional push around its ability to help consumers find new cars.
—Marketers are loving teensy, weensy, targeted social networks.
—Marketers can't wait to add apps to the iPhone.
—Wal-Mart and Hearst join together in custom-publishing deal. Hey, didn't Hearst already do that with Sears?
—AT&T courts music lovers online.
—John Burbank becomes CMO of Nielsen. Is that the same John Burbank that I went to elementary school with? Probably not.
—The FTC looks to define what green is.
—New campaign says that to buy a Subaru is to love a Subaru.
—Heinz has picked a winner in its second CGM contest.
—KSL launches an online barter system.
—Did you know that Microsoft's Yahoo deadline has passed?
From The New York Times:
—This just in: Mars to acquire Wrigley for $23 billion.
—Clinton, Obama and McCain court the WWE. Check out this photo of "Hillary" beating on "Barack."
—Rewards for taking pictures of ads. It's not exactly high art.
—The new and improved 4As leadership conference.
From The Wall Street Journal:
—Email from Bill Wrigley to the company about the Mars merger. Love the completely non-descriptive subject header: "Important Announcement Regarding Our Future." Subscription required.
—Cable companies run nasty ads. Subscription required.
—Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer either has to back off Yahoo or pursue a hostile takeover. Free.
—Trying to set the world record for Diet Coke/Mentos geysers. Free.