Bring Gates and Seinfeld back ... as a sitcom

Wondering if this whole imbroglio over the Microsoft campaign briefly starring Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates will be looked back on as the moment we all learned that buzz, in and of itself, isn't enough. (Yes, we should know that by now, but something tells me ... ) Was just checking out Y'Tube to get the html for the long version of the spot in which they live with an "average" family, and it seems to occupy a pretty high spot in the consumer zeitgeist right now. Lots of uploads, video responses and views. Here's what I think it means: even though the point of these pointless ads was to humanize Windows, there's something voyeuristically enjoyable about what they actually do, which is humanize Bill Gates. Ahhh the suspense of seeing how Gates fares after being run through the Jerry Seinfeld/Alex Bogusky test labs. Will he really do the robot? Will he really get pissed off at that teenage girl? Will he really tell the delivery boy he has no money? Yes, yes and YESSSS! Now, that's entertainment! I dunno. Maybe Seinfeld and Gates can succeed where the sitcom that spun off of Geico's cavemen didn't. Every week Seinfeld could try to further humanize Bill Gates, with all proceeds going to the Gates Foundation. Hey, there have been dumber ideas. I think.

Adverganza's Monday morning picks, 09.22.08

OK all. Hoping the worst is over with my childcare woes and my connectivity issues. With that, I re-commence the Monday morning picks:

From Advertising Age:

Massive Wall Street meltdown package. Some highlights:

—Consumers had lost all of their confidence before last week.
—What your favorite holding company CEO thinks of the market turmoil.
—Here's what to do if you're a financial services brand.
—Jonah Bloom, pissed off at the media.
—Bring on the Ramen Noodles!
—AIG's tag line was "The Strength to Be There." Ha! Take a look.

—What digital production costs.
—New pubic hair fun at shaveeverywhere.com.
—Bob Garfield doesn't get all that excited about flatulence.

From Adweek:

—Networks do away with integration fees and make agencies, advertisers, somewhat more happy. Or less grumpy. Take your pick.
—Can Madison Avenue and Silicon Valley every get along?
—Inside what Scion is looking for from prospective agencies.
—The allegedly amicable parting of ways between Goodby and Hyundai so that Hyundai can go to some agency that no one has ever heard of.
—Brand Finance says the major global brands are taking a hit.
—Pols try out idea generation software.
—Is Activia really that good for you?
—How live streaming of sports events is changing the game.
—Barbara Lippert on a good, strategically on-target Microsoft commercial.
—Mark Wnek admits he's bad about choosing.
—Bradley Kay buys an old house and says that digital and video production aren't the same thing.

From Brandweek:

—Boring as hell, but more of us are bringing lunch to work.
—More companies are listening to customer complaints on Twitter and elsewhere. If only one of them were Cablevision.
—Gallo ads featuring Allman Brothers soundtrack, but not for Boone's Farm.
—No lotion on your tissues? Man, are you out of it.

From Mediapost:

—How not fun it is to market the Ford F-150.
—Gift cards going on an unwanted diet.
—Huggies targeting Hispanic market by giving out free diapers, collecting mothering techniques.
—Online retailers relatively optimistic about holiday season. Offline retailers, not so much.
—Companies, are you listening? How microblogging can work for you.
—The Interactive Advertising Bureau wants a self-regulatory online ad organization, with no IAB affiliation.
—This Friday's presidential debate will be the most-watched ever.
—Media stocks ride last week's roller coaster well.
—Newspaper ad revenue down 17.2 percent for the month of August. No silver lining that I can see.
—Film at 11! Younger dads actually buy things for their kids!

From Mediaweek:

—The second annual Mediaweek 50. David Levy, president, advertising sales, Turner Sports is no. 1.
—"Mad Men" and "30 Rock" pick up lotsa Emmys. Hmmm. Two shows about the media business win awards. Who'da thunk?
—Is it content? Is it advertising? Who cares?
—NewMediaMetrics unveils an uber database.
—A closer look at the circulation figures for Conde Nast's Portfolio.

From The New York Times:

—Reporters and editors show restraint in using words like "crash", "free fall", "Armageddon" etc.
—More jawing on from marketing types about the financial crisis.

As for The Wall Street Journal, did it get rid of the "Media & Marketing" link? Can't find it in the redesign, and don't have time to comb through the headlines myself. For shame, Rupert!

Connectiviy issues + babysitter woes = no blogging

Hi guys, just wanted to say that sorry to be so remiss on the blogging front this week. Had double trouble with my ongoing connectivity problems and then facing a sudden childcare gap. Hopefully in the next week or two it will all be better.

Even speechless, still love Mac ads

I couldn't even get the sound to work and yet I'm still a sucker for Mac vs. PC ads. Interesting that The New York Times would let anything resembling editorial that's actually an ad to appear on its home page. Then again, that PC is so cute, and inept! Irresistible!

Yahoo hiring Bradford: a good thing

I have to admit to deriving some pleasure from Yahoo's hiring of ex-Microsoft ad sales chief Joanne Bradford to replace that search guy. It hardly means that Yahoo is now in the clear, but no matter how much emphasis Yahoo has tried to put on search in its quixotic quest to be a true rival to Google, having someone from the search ad business replace Wenda Harris Millard seemed like a non-starter from the get-go. Bradford, like Millard, understands the mainstream advertiser mindset, and since their embrace of online advertising, and search in particular, is still a work in progress, much better to have someone in the top job who gets where the people they are selling to are coming from. Good luck, Joanne, and as for the people at Yahoo, I hope this is the first sign that you're moving in a new, right direction.

Whoa! Cool! Electronic paper

Been wondering for awhile what the hell electronic paper is, and thanks to 3-minute Ad Age, I finally know. It's gracing the front cover of the 75th anniversary edition of Esquire, and required what looks to be a whole bunch of Elmer's Glue, some refrigerated trucks and an advertiser--in this case Ford--which has a literally flashy inside cover ad for the Ford Flex. The guy Ad Age interviewed from Structural Graphics, Michael Maguire, envisions a day when this will be commonplace. We'll see. When you see the footage of workers physically pasting pieces together, one-by-one, makes you wonder how this would ever scale. BTW, Good to see that Abbey Klaasen, an actual Ad Age reportetr, is doing anchor duties on 3-minute Ad Age. Nothing really bad about the guys who usually do it, but they're mere headline-readers, who wouldn't know Lee Garfinkel from Art Garfunkel. Ha!

Slow on the search for Palin

Woke up this morning and saw what I didn't see yesterday: search ads bought off the keyword "Sarah Palin." Doesn't that seem incredibly slow on the uptake to you? By my precise calculations, it's been about 10 days since she was nominated for VP. Can't say how quickly or slowly sponsored links showed up next to Joe Biden's name after his nomination, because I never checked. But as the candidates themselves would probably say, it's not exactly an apples-to-apples comparison. I think a few people had heard of Joe Biden before his nomination.

Where are the Monday morning picks?

Hi all. I'm on a deadline today for people who actually pay me, so sorry there's no picks to be had. I'll get to 'em when I get to 'em.

Digital has better ROI! Film at 11!

It positively kills me to see headlines like this one in Ad Age: "Kellogg: Digital ROI Surpasses That of TV," followed by quotes like this one from Kellogg's CMO: "It's still relatively early in our learning. But analysis of the Special K initiative of the last 18 months showed digital media exceeding that of broadcast ROI." In 2008, the ROI of TV--particularly when you consider the size of those investments--vs. digital is still worthy of discussion? Sheesh.

Need help understanding Seinfeld Microsoft spot

Man, I totally don't get this Jerry Seinfeld/Bill Gates Microsoft commercial. Please, someone, somewhere, explain to me why the action takes place in a fictitious shoe store! Explain to me what this is meant to do to improve my relationship with Microsoft! Best for me to move on. UPDATE: Here's Brian Morrissey's story at Adweek.com about the commercial, which provides this explanation: "This is the tech giant's first work from MDC's Crispin Porter + Bogusky in Miami, and it marks the kickoff to a wide-ranging $300 million campaign designed to alert consumers to innovations made possible through Microsoft's Windows operating system." Forgive me for thinking the commercial was about shoes.

Can we please ban the word "right-sizing"?

Maybe I'm not known for my empathy on this blog, but I feel so sorry for chief people officer Rose Zory at Carat, who apparently hit the uber-send key yesterday and sent documents outlining the communications plan for layoffs there to the whole company instead of just the management people who were supposed to get it. The memos and PowerPoint, in all of their awkward attempts to communicate the painful truth, were posted at Advertising Age, and reading them made me cringe, on a number of levels.
For one, it was like a bad acid flashback. My last act while at Organic in late 2000 was to manage the internal communications, and some of the external, for a layoff of 25 percent of the staff. Twenty-five percent! (Lucky me, I wasn't part of the "reduction in force", but had been hired by Ad Age anyway, and was leaving the company in a couple of weeks.) Just writing the talking points for those who would deliver the news to both the saved and the unsaved was enough to make one want to run for the nearest psychiatrist, and I had the good fortune not to send the entire communications plan to the whole company beforehand. Can you imagine what it must have felt like for Zory at the excruciating moment when she discovered she had sent the email to the whole company? And the further horror of having it posted on adage.com? This is the stuff of which nightmares are made, people.
Another thing that made reading these documents so cringe-worthy has nothing to do with the fact they leaked; it was their use of corporate jargon to explain an extremely unfortunate human event. Like most reporters, I have a disdain for jargon, and have always found the word "right-sizing" particularly offensive. True, companies sometimes have to readjust staffing to get it in line with reduced revenue, but to describe this as "right-sizing"? That's a term designed to distance whomever is saying it from the cruel realities involved. It's not "right" for employees who lose their jobs in a touch economy, nor is it "right" for the lucky people who keep their jobs, but are probably saddened by the departures of some good people and working harder than ever. Carat isn't the first company to deploy this term instead of the more accurate "down-sizing," but if I had my way, Carat would be the last to use it. Ever.

American Express touts its Members Project

American Express just posted this commercial to its "Members Project" channel on YouTube. It's basically a retrospective of clips from spots, using a lot of editing creativity, by AmEx commercial endorsers, including some footage from a spokesperson gig that Jim Henson did back in the day. It ties back into the "Members Project"—in which AmEx cardmembers suggest, and vote on, worthy initiatives to get $2.5 million in funding from American Express. Via Ogilvy.

Wish Matt Damon would speak with one voice

I'm a member of the ONE campaign—and you outta join too—but that doesn't mean I have to like this commercial, which is airing heavily during the Republican National Convention. Its intent is to show that many different voices have come together to fight global poverty, but the effect of having all of those voices coming from Matt Damon is just distracting. The first time or two I saw this ad I spent the whole time wondering why different voices were coming out of his mouth instead of fixing on what the voices were saying. Maybe they did this because the other stars involved in the campaign weren't available for a shoot.

Geico spot cemented Don LaFontaine's fame

Would any of us even have known Don LaFontaine's name had it not been for GEICO? Rest in peace, Don.

Forget "Mad Men", now Bernbach is on Twitter

At the risk of declaring that Twitter has jumped the shark, now I've gotten an invitation to follow Bill Bernbach on Twitter, in a move probably inspired by the "Mad Men" twitterers. Bernbach seems confused by Google's new browser, Chrome, and is trying out the Avis "We try harder" slogan on anyone who will listen. Seeing Bernbach on board gave me the idea that maybe I should start impersonating David Ogilvy, but somebody already thought of that, and the Twitter D.O. even claims to be having dinner with Betty and Don Draper on Thursday night. Maybe I'll be Mary Wells. Anyway, this whole Twitter impersonating thing probably has jumped the shark. While I was putting together this post, I got an invitation to follow Dr. Benjamin Spock, who is following more than 700 people but hasn't posted a damn thing.

Adverganza's Tuesday morning picks, 09.02.08

Wherein I scan the Monday and Tuesday morning headlines so you don't have to:

From Advertising Age (from what I can tell at this writing, no Labor Day print edition):

—Hungry for deals? Here's a close-up on the Wendy's dollar menu.
—Honeyshed names Stephen Greifer CEO; buzzes beyond hive. (Bee metaphor!)
—Attempt to rationalize John McCain's pick of Sarah Palin as VP nominee.
—ABC's "Pushing Daisies" lets people eat pie.

From Adweek:

—John McCain wins gold medal in the Olympics. Barack Obama does better in the overall.
—Go experience the Army, in a Philadephia mall.
—Gerri Graf hires people from Goodby, comic books.
—What Sarah Jessica Parker, Stan and Cartman, have in common.
—The CW lives, on mobile devices.
—TNS, you have until Sept. 12.
—The AARP advertises that U.S. medical care sucks.
—Lisa Colantuono and Leslie Winthrop tell you how to thrive in touch times.
—Alan Wolk opines: "The real digital revolution has nothing to do with advertising or marketing. In fact, it's the mortal enemy of both." Yikes.
—Barbara Lippert on Microsoft's new endorser: " ... the company has hired Jerry Seinfeld as its pitchman. Really? Was Michael Bolton busy?"

From Brandweek:

—Fast food companies advertise that times are tough.
—Papa John's pushes the specialty pizza.
—Consumer-generated media is not dead, thanks to Samsung.
—Bulgari wants to shine at the Breeders' Cup.
—We're loving coupons more than we used to.
—Coke turns the conventions green.

From Mediapost:

—MassMutual is so damn responsible.
—AT&T lets fans pick best college football player of the week, via texting, of course.
—Edmunds.com says August car sales won't add up to being quite as bad as it thought. Trust me, it's nothing to get too excited about.
—Nastia Liukin for Vanilla Star Jeans.
—LaDainian Tomlinson loves his Campbell's Soup.
—Target makes its site more blind-friendly.
—"90201" promo gets around.
—Those new IAB formats are said to rock.
—MediaVest starts an Impact Circle of less-than-higher-ups who get to shake the place up. Sounds like fun.
—ESPN admits it was tuned into NBC's Olympics.
—Look who wants to buy a Reed Elsevier trade pub.

From Mediaweek:

—Nielsen reveals first out-of-home TV ratings. It's about time, wouldn't you say?
—Women's Health editrix Tina Johnson is leaving the Rodale pub.
—Style.com flips on an online shopping channel.

From The New York Post:

—The TV networks don't have much to promote, but promote they are.
—Look for Nastia Liukin to score a book deal.
—The Google Chrome Web browser. Don't get that name at all.

From The New York Times:

—More on Google Chrome.
—Target to debut Manhattan "pop-up" stores.
—Google cozies up to ad agencies. Great Rob Norman quote basically saying that the death of media planners is greatly exaggerated: “I think there still may be at least one human media planner left, other than the one that pulls the handle on the Google machine.”

From The Wall Street Journal:

—Lipitor ads after the drop-kick of Robert Jarvik. Subscription required.
—Wilmington, North Carolina first city to go totally digital. Subscription required.

OK, have a good one. Sorry the summer's over, but it's beyond even my formidable blogging powers to change that sad fact.

Adverganza's gone fishin' again

Hi all. I'll be on the beach for a few days, so don't think I'll be posting. See ya after Labor Day!

TBS' funny ads, not made here

I'll probably be flipping between the Mets/Phillies game tonight and the Democratic National Convention, but you can go watch TBS' "World's Funniest Commercials" tonight at 9. I screened a few this morning—as though I have nothing better to do today—and none were from the U.S. What does it all mean, I ask ya? Kevin Nealon, who is not our nation's best humor export, hosts.

Measuring Bogusky's "9 inch 'Diet'"

Still pondering Alex Bogusky's decision to write a diet book with the support of his partner-in-crime, Chuck Porter. And despite musings about its raison d'etre, from reading yesterday's Ad Age, it seems unlikely that the book is part of some viral marketing stunt for Domino's so intricate it is beyond the understanding of mere advertising mortals. As the magazine points out, the book was listed among its publisher's titles before Bogusky's agency, Crispin, Porter + Bogusky won the Domino's account. Here's part of its description on Amazon: "With years of experience manipulating the masses, two of the best tricksters in the industry explain how you as a consumer are being duped, and how you are actually a part of the conspiracy to make you fat. But more importantly, they teach you how to break the cycle." One would think that might include not stopping so often at Burger King and Domino's, though the book's title, "The 9 Inch 'Diet'" focuses mostly on using a smaller plate to make you feel as though you are consuming more food than you actually are. Maybe Bogusky has won a 9-inch plate client?
Still, take a look at that book description: "How you as a consumer are being duped"? If that doesn't scream to Domino's and Burger King that (at least) a stern talking to is in order with Mr. Bogusky, I don't know what does. However, the perverse genius of the situation is that all fast food organizations these days have to give, pun intended, lip service to healthier eating. They can't openly protest the book's premise that perhaps we are eating too much and that corporate America has much to do with it.
The situation reminds me of a client conflict situation that ended badly for Saatchi & Saatchi back in the day, weeks after I had left the agency in the late 1980s. Saatchi had prepared a commercial for Northwest Airlines showing passengers cheering the fact that Northwest had decided to ban smoking on all domestic flights. RJR Nabisco, another Saatchi client for which the agency actually didn't handle any tobacco brands, got so pissed off it pulled $100 million in business from Saatchi, a move that, at the time, made the front page of The New York Times. No one came out in support of RJR, but I imagine what mattered most to Saatchi was keeping the account. Even if Bogusky has an excellent point to make with this book, if Domino's or Burger King mysteriously leave Crispin, you probably wouldn't go wrong to blame it on the book.

Adverganza's Monday morning picks, 08.25.08

Wherein I scan the Monday morning headlines so you don't have to:

From Advertising Age:

—Jonah Bloom is back from Africa and boy, he's depressed.
—Close-up on that Alex Bogusky and Chuck Porter diet book. Yes, if you've been on the beach, they really are writing a diet book, called "The 9-Inch Diet Book."
—A company that sells potatoes on "Why McCain Should Be in the White House."
—Now's the time to be in the CRM business.
—Ad Age gives the gold in buzz to Speedo.
—Would Microsoft sell Avenue A/Razorfish to WPP in exchange for 24/7 Media? Hell if I know.
—Value add from Beijing: NBC starts to figure out how to measure overall video consumption.
—Bob Garfield awards only 1.5 stars to the new United Airlines commercial, based on the fact that no one will feel better about flying just because the client's ad agency can commission a mean animated frog.

From Adweek:

—Lots of depressing research reports. Maybe hold off on reading 'til after Labor Day.
—The first multi-platform broadcast of the International Paralympic Games.
—Brian Morrissey on Google's attempts to change the TV ad market. Come out from under the covers people. You don't have to be that scared.
—The blogosphere gives a Bronx cheer to Jerry Seinfeld's ad deal with Microsoft.
—In advertising, is "50 the new 65?"
—Wieden looks for top creatives. Not apparently as easy as it sounds.
—Glen Engler becomes head of Digitas Boston.
—Benjamin Palmer teaches User Experience 101.
—Joseph Jaffe no longer flies Delta Air Lines, if he can help it.
—Barbara Lippert gives high marks for execution, low marks for completion, for The Climate Protection Alliance.

From Brandweek:

—Interview with Scion's Jeri Yoshizu.
—Apparently, it's not too early to start marketing pushes around Halloween.
—Procter & Gamble emphasizes value in Cascade push.

From Mediapost:

—How Stop 'n' Shop and Giant are fighting back against the evil supercenters.
—Audi lands an app on the iPhone.
—More evidence that in a down economy, people drink more. Present company excluded, of course.
—What? Banks still suck at customer service?
—Interpublic, Socialvibe, to friend each other.
—Q&A with Barry Herstein, new CMO of PayPal.

From Mediaweek:

—The NBC Olympics: the most-watched television event ever.
—Magazines looking for CPM increases in 2009, because their expenses are high. Is that the way this is supposed to work?
—Facebook's new Engagement Ads.
—Erwin Ephron on working in advertising, circa 1966.
—Paula, Randy, Simon and ... Kara?

From The New York Times:

—Stuart Elliott gives out his Olympic ad medals; disagrees with Bob Garfield about those United ads.
—Can LinkedIn help unemployed screenwriters?
—Refrigerator, TV havin' a little chit-chat.
—Dick Ebersol on why NBC's Olympics were such a success.

From The Wall Street Journal:

—And now the dark side of NBC's Olympics: only $5.75 million in online ad vid revenue. Free.
—Rafael Nadal gets a pre-U.S. Open makeover. Free.

That's it for today. See ya tomorrow.