Today in "I didn't go to Cannes", 06.20.08

While you were at the gutter bar, I was looking at tadpoles with my 4-year-old daughter in the Bronx River up in Scarsdale, later sidling up to the bar at Dunkin' Donuts and sharing a strawberry-banana smoothie. Here are the headlines I read about that little ad conference:

—Brian Morrissey is polling visitors to LeFreaque.com on which buzzword heard at Cannes is "most painfully awesome." The nominees are: digitology, creativology and utilitainment. —Saatchi's Young Directors Showcase.
—Up with Belgium and Sweden, down with the U.S.
—Shocker! In a speech at Cannes, Rupert Murdoch calls Facebook "flavor of the month." If that's the case, then MySpace is "flavor of last year at this time."
—Adweek's photo gallery at Cannes.
—Sir Martin Sorrell coins a new term, "froes", and we're not talking about a hairdo.
—Picture from Sam Faulkner of Ad Age that pretty much sums it up. Other photos here.
—Cole & Weber creative Todd Grant's lovely post about crepes at 3 a.m., marred only by his non-ironic use of the phrase "paradigm shift."
—Deutsch's Eric Hirschberg on why it's not all about the Palais.

Whatever, here's who won the Doritos ad contest

Beginning to think that no one gives a shit about consumer-generated commercials anymore, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. But when I say "no one" I may just be referring to ad wonks like myself. Almost 900 people submitted videos to the recent "Doritos You Make It" contest. The winner is above. Not a bad commercial at all—and I kind of like the amateur production values—but as with so man CGM commercials, it's a one-off that doesn't lend itself that well to endless iterations.

Today in "I didn't go to Cannes", 06.19.08

Should have concocted this special Adverganza feature earlier in the week, but, hell, been a little busy. Here it is, "Today, in 'I didn't go to Cannes.'" First, wanted to mention that while you all were out partying, I was serving cupcakes at the 5th grade graduation. And now the headlines I read about the advertising event of the year:

—The big winner, so far: HBO's "Voyeur."
—Three Cyber Lion Grand Prix (Prixes?) awarded. Jury intentionally didn't pick work "that does not take full advantage of the unique qualities of the medium, but rather simply used it as an efficient means of distribution." Ergo, "Whopper Freakout" doesn't make the cut.
—Weird. Allegedly it's not too late to register.
—Below, a pic taken by Advertising Age of people who are either really tired or really hungover. For more pics, including a nice shot of some unfortunate woman's armpit, click here.

—Americans with "caffeine issues."
—Grey's Josh Rabinowitz blogs about his music panel.
—BBDO's Susan Credle loses voice, drinks warm beer.
—JWT_Cannes_08 hears that Coke's "Happiness Factory" isn't aimed at kids.

OK, back to drinking home-made espresso, and contemplating my miserable life.

Nike shows its colors

Think this commercial for NikeID is from the U.K., and it's kind of fun. One of its tags is AKQA, so I'm going to jump to the conclusion that AKQA is the agency.

Social Media Insider goes to Cannes with JWT

Hi folks. The latest Social Media Insider column is up. You can read it in full here. Though I'm once again seething with jealousy at anyone who went to Cannes, I like the way JWT is using social media to bring Cannes to the people. Enjoy.

George Parker likes me, he really likes me

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Got good knockers? Go to London, June 28

So, Wonderbra is doing an open casting call for good knockers, in London on June 28, for what is being billed as the biggest underwear shoot ever. You can register here. Don't tell me that you never found this blog to contain useful information.

Adverganza's Monday afternoon picks, 06.16.08

Wherein I scan the Monday morning deadlines when I have the time. (Actually, I've had to be in conference mode all morning. Moderating a panel tomorrow at OMMA Publish, and chairing OMMA Social next Monday.)

From Advertising Age:

—Video of Jonah Bloom on what to look for in Cannes. If once again this year, you're seething with jealousy, don't watch. Apparently no one cares that we're pretty much in a recession and shouldn't be going on boondoggles.
—A story to that effect for those of us who actually read.
—Will Google gain $1 billion from its Yahoo! deal? And for Google isn't that just a rounding error?
—The weird durability of Spam.
—Ad spending was up only .6 percent in the first quarter. Not surprising, but it still sucks.
—How Traffic won Mitsubishi.
—What the hell is Huish Detergents?
—Parade's Randy Siegel thinks newspapers might not be dead.
—Bob Garfield thinks that BBDO's commercial "Stork" for Monster will win the Grand Prix.

From Adweek:

—Walk-up to Cannes by Brian Morrissey and Eleftheria Parpis that's truly a worthwhile read.
—Adweek comes up with its own Cannes Lions categories.
—Why figuring out who will win what at Cannes is getting harder and harder.
—Leo Burnett's Mark Tutssel about why the Titanium Lion is so important.
—Colleen deCourcy wants the Cyber Lions dead.
—Ongoing coverage of Cannes from AdFreak's obnoxious French cousin, LeFreaque.
—Q&A with Jerry Della Femina.
—Why media agencies are expanding beyond media.
—Close-up of Traffic, the little Mitsubishi agency that could.
—What will its decision to partner with Google do to Yahoo's market position?

From The New York Times:

—Tony Schwartz, who created LBJ's "Daisy" ad, passes on.
—Yep. Monetizing MySpace isn't as easy as it looked.
—Stuart Elliott on Backchannel Media, which tracks your TV viewing and puts it on your own "personal portal", or something along those lines.

From The Wall Street Journal:

—New Nortel campaign says that Cisco's systems suck energy. The campaign's tag? "The Cisco Energy Tax." Ouch. Subscription required.

Hoping to do more headlines later, but have to run. Busy day.